Rep's personal loss driving support for colleagues bereaved by suicide

8 January 2026

Inspector Elaine Malcolm was 12 years old when her father died. It’s a loss that has stayed with her for almost 30 years and one that fuels her determination to support others.

Elaine spoke about losing her dad in a powerful video produced by North Yorkshire Police Federation for last year’s World Suicide Prevention Day.

She said: “It had a huge impact on my family.

Inspector Elaine Malcolm

“I often think about what things would have been like now, if my dad was still alive, and what would be different if someone had asked if he was okay and checked on him.”

Now she is a trained facilitator for the Darlington branch of the Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS) charity.

Through her role, she is supporting police officers, staff and families who have been bereaved by suicide.

“At that time, we didn’t talk about it as a family,” she explained. “I didn't really tell people that I'd lost my dad because of the stigma.

Suicide

“When I heard about SOBS, it was something that I wanted to do so that families didn’t have to go through what we went through.

“I wanted people to have that support in place that wasn’t for us.

“And I don't want people to be alone and feel like they should be ashamed or embarrassed.

“There are people out there to help and, unfortunately, there are a lot of us that are in that club.

“It’s not a nice club, but there's a lot of us and we can help each other.”

SOBS is a UK-wide charity that offers peer-led support to adults impacted by suicide.

There are two police groups run by SOBS nationally.

One provides support to police officers and staff bereaved by suicide. The second provides support for families of police officers and staff who have been lost to suicide.

Meetings

Meetings take place on the fourth Wednesday in the month. The next one is on Wednesday 28 January.

Elaine is encouraging colleagues from North Yorkshire police and around the country who have been bereaved by suicide to join.

She said: “It's somewhere safe where there's that understanding of the police family, police language, and those unique issues that only police officers and staff understand.

“Its somewhere people can talk, be understood, and not feel judged.”

Elaine’s work and that of the SOBS police support groups reflects efforts nationally by the Police Federation of England and Wales (PFEW).

PFEW used its annual conference to call for the mandatory recording of all police officer suicides and attempted suicides.

Awareness

It said the lack of official data meant policing had ‘no real understanding’ of the scale of the crisis facing its workforce.

Spencer Wragg, Hampshire Police Federation chair, was part of a panel discussion at the conference.

He has established the STEP (Suicide Trauma Education Prevention) campaign, which aims to reduce the number of police officers who take their own lives.

Part of the campaign is raising awareness of the amount of trauma officers face in their jobs, and encouraging them to seek help if they’re struggling.

Spencer has said: “The message I would like to share is that it’s OK not to be OK about how you are feeling, but what you must do is reach out to someone, anyone, it doesn’t matter who."

More information about SOBS or the virtual police meetings is available by emailing police@uksobs.org

If you or a colleague is struggling, North Yorkshire Police Federation encourages you to reach out through the branch or workplace reps, or through trusted peer support services such as SOBS.