Laura and her sons.

Driven by her own traumatic journey, a Federation member has launched a support network for parents who have experienced child or baby loss as she wants to bring hope to others, educate people and lift the stigmas surrounding the taboo topic.

Hertfordshire Detective Sergeant Laura Bassett founded the Force’s Child Loss Support Network after recognising there was the need for colleagues who had experienced such heartbreak to receive essential care during and after what can be an extremely difficult time.

Laura also wants to raise awareness of child or baby loss across the Force and, in particular, educate line managers as to how they can best support their teams. 

“It’s important that people recognise that the trauma that comes with child or baby loss might stay with people forever,” said Laura, whose first child, Charlotte, died after being born prematurely at 28 weeks.

Laura, who went on to have two sons, has spoken of her own experience to not only give hope to others but to show colleagues that their career does not have to end because of what they have gone through.

“I don’t want to gloss over people’s grief, because everybody needs to grieve but I know I felt that sharing my story and hearing from others bought with it a sense of comfort and hope,” added 41-year-old Laura, who has been in the Force for 19 years. 

“We want to give people permission to grieve, to feel upset and to talk about how they are feeling. 

“And it’s not just women, it’s vital that we support men too. Often, men feel like they aren’t allowed to feel sad, because it’s the woman carrying the baby but we all need to remember, they have lost a child as well. 

Laura was 27 when she fell pregnant with Charlotte, her first child, due in 2008. She says while everything initially seemed fine, she went into labour at 28 weeks.

Charlotte was born via C-section and quickly needed a blood transfusion, as she was found to have severe anaemia. Within 31 hours, Charlotte sadly died peacefully in Laura’s arms.

“It was absolutely horrific,” said Laura, “I didn’t know what to do.”

Medics later confirmed that during pregnancy, the placenta had split, which resulted in Charlotte losing two thirds of her blood, which then led to multiple organs shutting down.

“At that point, I didn’t know how to carry on, let alone go to work,” said Laura, who took four months of her maternity leave, before returning to the job.

She soon joined meetings held by the national charity Sands (stillbirth and neonatal death charity), which gave her a place to share her story and a chance to meet others who understood her emotions.

“It wasn’t until I returned to work that I realised just how many people are impacted by child or baby loss,” continued Laura, who admits she continued to struggle emotionally, especially following the birth of her sons Daniel (12) and Joshua (10).

“To be honest, the whole experience was a rollercoaster of emotions. I had extremely low periods, not helped by a number of other traumatic experiences, and in 2015 was diagnosed with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).”

Having received counselling to help her deal with past trauma, Laura said she started to feel better than she could ever remember.

“After recovering, I knew I wanted to create a support group for colleagues who had been through a similar experience to me,” said Laura.

Although the network has been informally supporting others for around four years, it was during this year’s Baby Loss Awareness Week (9 to 15 October) that Laura officially launched the group.

“We held a memorial service, which dozens of people attended - an event I want to make an annual date in our calendars,” added Laura.

“We read a list of children’s names people had sent me, to remember and honour those we have lost, and we also unveiled a bench, on-site, dedicated to those children who have died.”

Moving forward, Laura is hoping to hold additional events, as well as quarterly support meetings.

She said: “We’re really only just getting up and running but it’s a start. We’re definitely turning a corner, people are speaking more about baby and child loss, and it’s definitely not as taboo as it used to be.

“I want to support line managers too. Being in the police, our job is so unique, we can find ourselves dealing with some seriously difficult situations and if we’re struggling with our own loss or trauma, that can be even harder.

“I want to encourage line managers to not give up on their staff but instead, please stick with them - it might be that they just need that extra support and time. It’s important for line managers to recognise that birthdays and anniversaries will be difficult each year. The best way forward is to keep communicating so that any care and support can be bespoke.”

Laura is also hoping that by setting up the network, it will stop speculation within the Force.

She explained: “I want to encourage all staff members not to speculate when a member of their team suddenly goes on to restricted duties. It’s all too easy to ask someone if they are pregnant, and speculate about this, however, this is private to that person and, in fact, it might be that they are experiencing a miscarriage, which is why they’re not able to go out on the beat or go into custody. 

“I know of one officer who was asked by several officers continuously throughout her shift if she was pregnant, and she had to keep explaining that she’d just found out she was pregnant but that she was now bleeding and so didn’t know if she was losing her baby. This was very upsetting for her and she’d have rather people just stopped speculating.”

An intranet page dedicated to providing essential information and support for those who have experienced child or baby loss has also been created.